Daily Kos has produced copy of a 1997 letter showing plans to address the issues of same sex marriage in California and Hawaii. Daily Kos says 'This memo discusses strategies for what the memo calls "HLM" (gay marriage) in Hawaii and California (I assume that HLM refers to "homosexual legal marriage)."'
Those involved included Elder Loren C. Dunn, Elder M. Russell Ballard, Elder Neal A. Maxwell, President Gordon B. Hinckley, Elder Dallen H. Oaks, Richard Wirthlin and Stuart Reid.
The memo talks of the church working as a member of a coalition, avoiding being at the forefront of activity, concerns that same sex unions in Hawaii might have to be recognized as valid in other states, that domestic partnerships could effectively be same sex marriages by another name, that certain legal rights may have to be granted to same sex couples as a legislative concession, potentially high expenses in California, partnering with the Catholic church because of their "higher" public image, and strategizing with Catholic leaders in California,
The memo can be read here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/11/3/15369/3779?detail=f
I think you missed the memo from 1995 by the LDS Church. It was called the Proclamation on the Family.
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