Author Addresses Attitudes Toward Married Sex

This book seems to reflect the church's increasingly positive attitude
towards maritial sexual enjoyment. Note the new language in the
current Church Handbook of Instructions under "birth control":

"Married couples also should understand that sexual relations within
marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of
procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening
emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife."

This book, published by Deseret Book, seems to echo this attitude:

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Author Addresses Attitudes Toward Married Sex
PROVO -- The author of "And They Were Not Ashamed -- Strengthening
Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment" has a powerful mission.

Laura M. Brotherson wants to reshape society's attitude toward sexual
intimacy in marriage.

She wants people to understand that God not only ordained sex but
expects the partners in a marriage to comfort, nourish and bless one
another with physically rewarding relationships.

She's determined to get the word out.

"My goal is to see that every adult have access to this information,"
said Brotherson. "This is a family values, marriage, sex and parenting
book. There is not a marriage out there that cannot benefit from some
discussion about this."

Brotherson has a bachelor's degree in family sciences with an emphasis
in marriage and family therapy from Brigham Young University. She
teaches a course on strengthening marriage for the LDS Church
Education System.

After recognizing a serious need for specific, gospel-centered
information, she began to write. She published the text in May 2004,
and the first printing sold out quickly. Her book is currently
available at Deseret Book and other major outlets.

"It's been so amazing," Brotherson said. "I'm hearing from frustrated
husbands on one side and from frustrated wives on the other side."

Brotherson said the feedback to the information on her Web site,
www.strengtheningmarriage.com, has been surprisingly positive and the
questions she gets only underscore the misunderstanding that exists.

"I'm hearing comments like, 'It's OK to let my husband have sex with
me?'" Brotherson said.

Brotherson's book is bold but sensitive. She discusses the sanctity of
the sexual relationship but she also frankly discusses what happens
physically.

She debunks the theories that prevent "good girls" from enjoying
themselves and outlines firmly just how critical it is for men and
women to experience sexual fulfillment.

Brotherson includes a quote from LDS Church President Spencer W.
Kimball: "Divorces often occur over sex. . . . If you study the
divorces, as we have had to do in these past years, you will find
there are many reasons. Generally, sex is the first. They did not get
along sexually. They may not say that in the court. They may not even
tell that to their attorneys, but that is the reason."

Brotherson points out that conditioning against sinful sex is
difficult to overcome once the marriage vows are said. The lessons on
morality designed to curb early experimentation causes problems for
married couples who want to do what's right and still enjoy sex.

She outlines how destructive the world's view of sex can be and she
discusses why sex is hard to talk about. She suggests ways to gain
confidence and open up the channels of communication in a sensitive
and thoughtful manner.

Her message is building momentum as people discover the book and the
potential for more happiness.

"We live so below our potential," Brotherson said. "Sexual fulfillment
and oneness in marriage is an individual and ongoing process for every
couple. I believe in the power of the teachings and principles I share
to bless lives, strengthen marriages and build strong families."

Douglas E. Brinley, author of "Between Husband and Wife" said,
"Brotherson goes beyond our book in ways that should be helpful to
many Latter-day Saints, especially women."

"As a gynecologist in practice for the past 13 years . . . I can
assure you this is a much needed education and resource for couples
young and . . . not so young," said Dr. David Kirkman, who currently
practices in Logan.

Caralee Frederic, a licensed social worker who practices in
California, said the book is "vitally necessary at this time in our
nation -- indeed in the world -- where sexuality is so distorted and
where the forces against marriage and families grow ever stronger."

A therapist in private practice in Boise, Shirley Henderson said,
"Finally, a liberating book written expressly for couples who struggle
with sexual problems in marriages. . . . Laura addresses the
incapacitating guilt and shame that plague many marriages."

E-mail: haddoc@desnews.com